17 April 2008

Shooting in River City!


A stroll down the railroad tracks ended in a violent death for one river city resident last night.

Approximately 6:55 p.m. last night police were called to the 300 block near the viaduct to investigate what appeared to be an accident with the victim still twitching. Witnesses told the police that they saw the victim leap from the railroad viaduct. Traces of hair were found on a temporary construction sign near the railroad bridge. It was determined that the victim leaped from the bridge, landed on the construction sign, possibly breaking its neck, then fell to the ground.

Police made a determination that the victim was without hope for improvement and consequently put the river city resident down. The incident had a circus-like atmosphere as dozens of neighbors, including many children, witnessed the officer pull his weapon and fire the fatal shot.

Police replayed the incident for those who gathered, at one point all three officers simultaneously pointing to the bridge, then to the sign, then at the victim now laying motionless on the sidewalk. This incident, while similar, still does not compare to the great train derailment and subsequent mercy killings of several bovine on the grounds of a nearby elementary school during the 1960's with horrified children watching out their classroom windows.

The victim was placed on a rear mounted rack on the back of a jeep and taken away.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

So Opie, Andy and Barney were all there!

hoosier reborn said...

Hey now, these guys conducted themselves about as good as could be expected given the circumstances.

This is river city, not Mayberry. Gosh, I wish it were Mayberry sometimes.

Anonymous said...

hey what? It was a Mayberry moment!!!....You assumed that I thought Mayberry was a bad place! I was going through a box last evening and I came across an April 18th 1968 Pilot News Paper. A couple of things stuck me.....one the paper was much larger in the past not just in number of pages but also physical size. All of the articles and photos which referred to women gave their names as Mrs. John X or Mrs. Bill Y not once was it Mary X or Sally Y.....forty short years ago things were very different! and yet last night they were the same!

hoosier reborn said...

I was going through a box of old church stuff yesterday and came across a missionary marketing piece that had on the front cover about 200 men in suits standing at attention-not a single woman, and the caption said "send me".

Glad Mother Theresa didn't read it.

I Miss Mayberry..excellent song by Rascal Flats.

Anonymous said...

Those are three of the sexiest studs in uniform I have ever seen!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my Deer!
These guys appear that they are in mourning!
what a tuff job!

hoosier reborn said...

well, it's kinda like Lake Wobegone here in river city, where all the women are strong, the men are good looking and the children are above average.

I'll pass your compliments on to the officers.

And I do think the guys felt a little bad for bambi.

Anonymous said...

I drove by this spot yesterday (following the Michigan Road to South Bend) and told my sons this story. My 11-year-old said, "What was the deer running from?" I said, "The deer mafia," but he didn't get it.

Anonymous said...

I haven't had to get up to date on your posts for a couple of days. Now that I read this one, it solves a mystery for me. I drove by on my way home after work that evening shortly before the death sentence was carried out and was very confused by the scene on the side of the street. My first thought was that someone could not resist and plugged a deer from an upstairs window of one the houses in the area. Glad to see you are on the scene with the details...

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