You go before me....
Today marks the one year anniversary since I left my former job and began on my own. I remember walking out of the office door that last time wondering what the heck I was going to do, where I would end up, and what we would do to pay bills. Then I remember waking up that following Monday morning, August 4th, stealing away early in the morning for a run around the block then watching the sun rise over the new day with coffee in hand on the back porch. Still unsure of what awaited but relaxing from the weight of a giant burden lifted from my shoulders. Man, did I need out.
Leaving wasn't necessarily easy, but it was necessary. Two projects that were like my kids, a museum expansion and depot restoration, were just about to start construction. The museum expansion specifically was born out of an idea that originated with me and I followed it through the procurement of a grant and finally to design and construction stage....a four year process. It's difficult to walk away from that. It is more difficult to be in a position God doesn't want you to be in.
Within a few hours of watching the sun rise on the 4th, I began scratching out a business plan. Because that's what you do, right? Maybe you do that before you actually leave your job, but it's still a requirement. Then, as work began to come in without me actually enacting the business plan, I realized that once work slowed down the plan would take center-stage. Then came the offers from folks who wanted to finance me, three in all. That was pretty humbling. The one was ready to set me up with an office and staff to compete for work around the state. Tempting.
But something in the back of my head was saying "just trust me". So, despite what has been rumored in river city, no one has given me a cent. Clients have called because of connections or word of mouth....and they've been the best people to work for. In fact, our family visited with one in Elkhart just the other night as she insisted giving the kids a tour of her gardens. It has been the client relationship I have found most rewarding.....well, that and working in my pajamas some days.
Work is worth waking up for....I love what I do and the folks I work with. And the funny thing is that I think God knew this all along.....and He went before me. He was just waiting for me to catch up. Many have said that it took a great deal of faith to go out on my own.....frankly, I had every excuse not to and it literally came down to the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.....not sure that that is faith.
But now I look back at the past year and see how God has continued to provide and it creates something entirely new in me. It is the realization that God's got my back....that we'll be ok despite what people throw at us. Despite the crookedness of the political and business realms, despite those who want to do harm........God has plans to bless. And since the "impossible" has been granted by God in business, it makes other impossibilities I often cite as excuses seem much more plausible, in politics and in spiritual possibilities in river city. That makes for a dangerous foe, methinks.
I don't know how long God plans for me to be in this position. I fully acknowledge it is by His providence....and if circumstances change I know that He will still be there. It is a strange thing indeed to have the feeling that there is nothing to lose but everything to gain when trusting God. People say this, but few experience it. Life is good.