if today was your last day

A couple of things have really hit me recently. The first of my nieces and nephews will be graduating from highschool this weekend. My wife and I had dinner with an old friend and his wife who was back celebrating his 20th highschool reunion at Culver Military Academy this past weekend.....I haven't gotten together with him in nearly that long. My wife keeps talking about how my daughter will need new skirts because they've mysteriously become too short. I mentor highschool guys who could be my sons. And, finally, realizing my son is getting old enough to take on young man kinda jobs-even at 8. 8! I remember 8. He's growing up way too fast.

But then, I'm growing up way too fast! 40! @#!*x#!

I was on my way home from a job on Monday and heard this song by Nickelback, "If Today was your Last Day". And that got me thinking what I had done with the last 40 years of my life. This is dangerous to do. I'm thankful for many of the relationships that have lasted through the years-20 years or more. I'm so thankful for my wife and kids.....I'm afraid I would be an empty, self-indulgent guy if it weren't for them. And I am really enjoying the developing relationships that I have in mentoring, officially or unofficially, younger guys in my life.

So what do I have from the last 40 years? Relationships. That's about it. I'm constantly confronted with things I "gave my life to, broken." Strange how little remains of the good stuff, but much remains of the relationships. I do have a handful of "accomplishments" from the last 10 years or so that I am blessed by God to have been a part of.

I look out from here, having just started out on my own, and just not sure where the road will lead. As well as God directed the storm which led me to this point of blessing, I still struggle with what my purpose is. Because as much as I love doing what I do, it seems the purpose is too temporal. God, I want more purpose.

If today were my last day.......I know I would see every interaction as a critical intersection, depart what little wisdom I have to my kids, never let go of my wife, call every person I could think of and let them know what they've meant to me.....and probably send out a great big hug and I love you to all my 178 friends on facebook.

How crazy that we don't see this as our purpose?